Is It ....Really ??

Back at ya....

I was thinking......What secretly scares men? I hope, I don't need to 'qualify' what a 'man' is ! Is it really that much different for most women ??

You probably think you know what frightens most men. A long-weekend at the in-laws' place. Antiquing. Running out of beer in the third quarter. But that's just the stuff he'll admit to being afraid of, which, by definition, means they're not his true deep fears. So how can you determine what those are? Easy: They're the ones he'll almost never talk about. But I will !!

Turn on the 'lights' for the 'nightmare' begins:

Let's count down through the Scary Fifteen:

#15 Hair in the drain. The first sign of male pattern baldness brings a man face-to-follicle with a skimpy aspect of his future. And it's always earlier than he expects or wants (which is, like, never). Logically, men know that baldness is as much of a part of life as Leno making Britney jokes. Logically, men know that being bald doesn't mean that they're any less smart, virile, or successful. Logically, men know that women don't care how much hair their men have. Logically, men know there are plenty of bald men who are comfortable in their skin--no matter how much of it they're showing. But when it first happens, it feels like stepping on a scale and being 20 pounds heavier or waking up in high school with a quarter-sized nose pimple. It's the inevitable and uncontrollable change in appearance that men try so desperately to protect. Maybe even more importantly, this moment when a man starts losing his hair says a lot about him-whether he's cool enough to handle it, or anxious enough to attempt to deny it with combovers, Rogaine, or faith healers.

#14 Getting caught noticing another woman. A man's instinctual response to visual stimulation very rarely has anything to do with his current relationship or how he feels about it. But his lizard brain reacts instantly, and before he knows he's doing it, he's looking at someone else. We hate having to explain behaviors that even we don't fully understand.

#13 Rejection. Doesn't matter whether it happens after a job interview, or at a bar, or on the basketball court. And remember, there's a difference between losing and being outright rejected. Men can handle losing a game or having a bar conversation disintegrate into nothing. But the proud creatures that men are, they hate having their shots blocked. Mainly, that's because it means that someone else has the upper hand-and is gloating about it.

#12 Super Nanny. A woman from 'hell' on 'steroids'
#11 Speedos. Self explanatory, pain, pain and more pain !

#10 His dad's death. It's his most powerful moment of a reflection, as he thinks about his own mortality. Becoming the family patriarch is heavy stuff. For many men, it's a life-changing moment, because they think about what their fathers did for them and what they failed to do. The next step: Considering what they need to do to be better dads and better men themselves--which means they must confront their own failures, as well. That's a lot for a grief-stricken man to deal with. He should get some latitude to do that in his own way. For him, reaching out may be through what seem like misdirections--more chatter about fishing with friends, an extra set of tickets to the Phillies showdown with the Mets. But guys need a reason to get together; the talk will come during a slow point in the 6th inning, or in the car on the way home.

#9 Her tears. Men know it's natural, that women need to do it, and that it's a signal that they better provide something more than just a tissue-even though many men have no clue what that something might be. Men have been told that women cry for all kinds of reasons-to release some emotions, to get our attention, or just because dammit, The Bachelor rose ceremony is so stinkin' sad. Men want to do the right thing, but because men don't navigate those falling waters very often, they probably do the wrong thing more often than not. Which is another reason why they fear her emotional tsunami.

#8 Being a lousy lover. Of all the things that men want to happen in bed, pleasing their women ranks near the top of the list, according to a national Men, Love, and Sex survey by Harris Interactive. Men hate to think that women may be bored, unimpressed, or unsatisfied. Maybe it's an ego thing (okay, it is an ego thing), but men do very genuinely care about how much pleasure a woman is having in bed. That's why the faking thing drives men so crazy. To men, feigned pleasure is code for: You're so damn terrible at this, but there there, little fella, I'm gonna make you feel good about your inadequate self. Men want to know what women want, and they want to be successful in delivering it.

#7 Not being a god to his kids. There comes a time when men don't care much about what strangers, co-workers, friends, in-laws, or anybody else thinks about them. But when a kid articulates his father's flaws, it's the ultimate heart crumbler. Men know that sometimes they work too much or are too short-fused or simply fall short on the hero-dad meter, but deep down, they know it's the most important job that they're going to do. And if they don't do it right, they know there's a significant chink in their masculine armor.

#6 Living paycheck to paycheck. Even though men aren't the only hunters and providers anymore, they still feel a deep evolutionary pull to provide the backbone and protection for their tribe. When men lose money, can't make enough money, or are scrounging for money, it can be an emotional disaster-it makes them feel like they're losing control in their lives.

#5 Beautiful women. Few things intimidate men more than IRS audits and 12-foot birdie putts. A beautiful woman is one of them. A beautiful woman-whether spotted at work, in bookstores, driving in the next lane, anywhere-simply has the power to turn a man of steel into creamed corn. Men know this. Men try to resist this. Ultimately, it's a challenge. Beauty may be a short-lived form of power, but it is profound, and nearly all men cower before it. It can make them do really, really stupid things.

#4 Getting naked. Ladies shouldn't think that they're alone in fleshy hang-ups. Guys are just as concerned about what women will initially think about their body hair, muscles, guts, toes, and other parts. Men are deeply aware that they can be too fat, too skinny, too hairy, too smelly, and while men are eager to revel in a woman's body, they also share anxiety about revealing their own.

#3 Tofurky. Now this is as 'frightening' as it sounds !

#2 Not seeing his kids grow up. Death, of course, scares everyone-not so much for the bad stuff that may happen to them, but for missing out on all the good stuff that will happen to their kids. Or, worse yet, not being around to protect them from the bad stuff.

# 1 Public humiliation. Here's one that will make even the strongest men cave: Looking weak. Whether a man is extremely secure-or insanely insecure-about himself, he's worries that he'll look incompetent, idiotic, or both. Doesn't matter whether it's a zipper malfunction, an off-color joke he mistakenly slips in during a speech, a dismissive statement by a boss in a department meeting, fumbling the fly ball at a softball game, getting arrested for fighting after his kid's soccer game, whatever. It's one thing to make mistakes. But making the reputation-damaging ones in public is tough to take. That's because as much as men try to protect their homes, their families, their appearance, and their jobs, perhaps the most nerve-wracking job of all is protecting the thing they can't cure with money, with effort or with laser hair removal: their reputations.

I wonder just how much 'honesty' one can possess with in themselves and can it ever be 'seen' to the 'outside world'? If not....how come ? The 'first thing' that comes to my mind is 'vulnerability'.
Where is it 'written' that we must be 'walls of stone' ? Seems to me that if most are living in 'fear' constantly they will end up loosing out somewhere !
What a 'scary' feeling to have...huh ? ....hmmmmm.....
So ....what secretly scares you? Fess up and share it here.

Till next time America......
Smugs as always,
Steve

A Triple A of a Time....

Well, Howdy ….

For those of you that have been following my ‘blog’ know that I had a Ford vehicle parked in my driveway disabled for almost a year. Course ..lol…I became ‘upside down’ when the engine seized and I didn’t have title at that time and with payments still to be made..

Well, I finally received the ‘title’ about a month ago, so I decided today to remove the ‘boat anchor’ and haul it to the ‘scrap yard’ because it just simply wasn’t worth ‘repairing’. Not that the car was in ‘bad shape’, mind you but the cost to replace the engine ( $ 2k+ ) was prohibitive. So time became time to remove the ‘wart’ from my leg ! …..lol
I think I should have had a ‘quadruple bypass’ instead because what transpired to do a rather simple and easy task became a ‘costly’ event that even the ‘brain dead’ would have to ‘scratch ‘ their heads and say…..HUH ! …lol.

It all started about a couple of weeks ago when I checked into the procedure for disposing the vehicle by calling my reputable and local salvage yard. Their normal process seemed rather easy and uncomplicated. “They tow, get nothing for the auto….I tow and they cut me a check for $100.00.” The car according to them was just too old in years despite the terrific body shape for them to consider doing a ‘salvage title’. Course the ‘tires’ must be on the wheels or they won’t accept it. Well there goes my last investment for that vehicle right out the door since tires were just purchased ($ 400.00 ) before the engine (72k miles ) had a massive cardiac arrest and ‘dropped dead’. Ok, ok…so I take a ‘hit’ and consider it not such a big problem as I know exactly what to do . Hmmmm…..or so I thought!

With infinite wisdom, I figured I can at least ‘bail out’ of the cumbersome situation rather effectively with at least the $100.00 in my pocket since I belong to AAA auto club and have been for decades and decades. After all, this is really a very simple tow and not a complicated situation for the tow company or for Triple A….lol. Boy, was I under false assurances, for sure. But what transpired is really for ‘One that flew over the cuckoo’s nest’ !

I called my local AAA office which only took about 6 attempts to be connected to someone that tried to speak English. Strike number one ! ( more than 1 hour had passed since I first dialed )
Once I got a ‘live person’ their ‘check list’ procedure in questioning me to set up the ‘tow’ was totally ridiculous and covered everything from the color of the car to the number of times I ‘flushed ‘ the ‘john’ today, or at least it seemed as such. Since most of the information required was totally of no use to anyone. Despite all that nonsense I ran into a slight problem at the tail end of their inquiries. Did you know that despite the fact that you are paying for a ‘towing service’ , they will not ‘tow’ to a salvage yard ? Neither did I . hmmmm…..
The purpose of the need for AAA to do the towing was very basic to me at least walking away from this fiasco with the $100.00 intact. Since I was previously paying AAA for their services , I thought this was a rather prudent approach to achieve my goal.
Well, with a little ‘tongue and cheek’ misrepresentation on my behalf I finally got the tow lined up with the assurances that the truck will be here in about 1 hrs time. Ok…I thought ‘it’s all down hill from here.’…hmmmm….guess again !
The truck showed up a ‘tad’ later than stated, about 2 hrs instead…still no problem, I‘ve got plenty of daylight left. Better late then never !
As the driver did his thing and ‘hooked up‘ the car and secured it for it’s final journey to it’s resting place, he threw me a ‘curve’. When he was about ready to leave he realized he neglected to write down the ‘license tag’ of the vehicle and quickly jumped out to copy it down for the paper work. Well, that was a ‘mistake’…lol….for me that is ! You see about 8 months ago, the ‘tag’ got stolen and I had filed with the local Sheriffs office stating such. I really didn’t give it any thought in how this would play out for a ‘tow’!
Despite the fact of me having the ‘paper work’ for the stolen plate, the driver in his ‘working for the company attitude’ immediately told me that this vehicle was going for ‘salvage junk ‘ and not as an ‘emergency tow’ as prescribed by AAA. He could not tow this under AAA rulings however, if I wanted the tow under these exact conditions, he can do it for a price as a ‘private tow’ ! What a quandary I was in ! All ‘hooked up’ and no place to go ! …hmmmmm

So for about a half hour or so , I was ‘discussing’ the ‘illogical logic‘ of the predicament with the driver to no avail. After all…a tow is a tow….right ??? Payment was being made to the tow company and they definitely weren’t being ‘out ‘ of anything, so why the ‘hassle’ ? Why should the tow company or AAA care what the end demise of the car is ? Again, it’s a ‘service tow’ that I had been paying for.

Well, after careful deliberation on my behalf, I realized this guy isn’t going to ‘budge’ in his thinking and attitude. I consented for a ‘private tow’ which really wasn’t ‘sitting ‘ very well with me at that moment but I felt as thou I was being held ‘prisoner’ and had no real other negotiable options. I guess ‘one has to do what one has to do’….lol !!

So after another 15 mins and filling out the ‘paper work’ with ‘charge card’ in hand, I get the bad news that this is going to cost me $65.00 for a 7 mile tow. ( actual mileage is really only 5 miles ). So I ‘bite the bullet’ and put on a ‘happy face’ gritting my teeth all the way trying to remain ‘personable’ ! Now this is really starting to ‘irritate me’ .
Again, just as he was finishing up, the drivers stated..’ Oh ….did I forget to mention, there is an additional $5.00 charge for using a credit card?” Duh,…Yah…. ya jackass !
Now, according to my knowledge which I might be mistaken, the policy in this ‘redneck’ state for services and products are not subject to additional fees for payment via credit card. I do believe that is totally ‘illegal’ to charge. However, at this juncture, I was just really ready to tell him to ‘f off’ but I really, really wanted to see my ‘concrete drive’ again, so I submitted rather peaceably to his ‘hijacking mentality’!

Whew, there she goes, finally rolling down the street , even though not under her own power but moving and gone none the less ! So I follow the truck to the salvage yard and all seems to be finally being resolved. Hmmmm…..not so fast kiddo. For what followed next has really taught me a lesson that I will mention at the closing !

Do you remember what the salvage yard policy was/is? I do and complied with it totally. Well, after the tow truck dumped the vehicle in their lot, the representative for the yard told me that ‘they would have done the tow for nothing and still pay me the $100.00.’ Huh ??? I only spoke with them 3 times in total before I put my plan into action via AAA. Hmmmm….is something amiss here ? I think so…but they refused to reimburse me for the tow expense but the $100.00 would remain ! Ok. Fine…let’s get this fiasco done with. I am ‘bushed’ and my mind is spinning about like a scoop of ice cream in a blender.
Well to make a long story shorter than this…lol….it only took about 4 hours to accomplish what could have been in maybe 20 mins. Geesh….but what did come out of this is a valuable lesson.

We ( mankind ) is still in the ‘jungles’ despite the clothes that we wear. Just like the homeowners that were paying insurance for storm damages that got wiped out by the hurricanes of recent years. The insurance companies turned, twisted and squirmed their way out of paying millions of dollars that they have been collecting for years giving ‘false’ hope and information to it’s client base letting them believe that they were ‘covered’ for what they were paying for, when indeed they had no ‘coverage’ at all because of ‘symantics’. Damages from storms such as wind and rain is bound to build up on the ground and cause problems. The insurance companies should be trounced for squirming out of their contracts because the say it was ‘flood’ damage not ‘storm related’ damages thus they don’t have to cover ! That is BS my friend…..just like AAA…..
So you see, there is no value in ‘insurances’. No ‘good faith’ in the words of those that are basically ‘jungle idiots’. As far as this blogger is concerned, they don’t deserve to ‘survive ‘ in what most want in our society. A ‘piece of mind’ that is given for what we ‘think’ we are ‘paying for’ !

So once again, I thank you for your endurance to finish the final chapter of an event that was definitely ‘challenging’ from the start. It only took about 11 months from it’s start to it’s finish and I hope that there are no such things as ‘car ghosts’…lol ….

‘Peace of mind’ be with you all….
Till next time America…..
Smugs,
Steve